So Leto and I were talking today and our conversation landed on that famous phrase one gives to another when experiencing a love lost or some similar variation. "Well, there are plenty of other fish in the sea."
This is my blog to the world about those other fishes.
In life's aquarium, there are many, many different kinds of fish. Scoop a pile of them up in your little net and let me tell you what you are bound to have caught:
The Taken Fish --Whether he has a girlfriend, fiance, wife, etc. This fish is not going in your cooler. In fact, he is a sly, cunning creature because somehow he ended up in your net when he was actually caught by someone else weeks, months, even years ago! Even if you tried somehow to take him home, you would inevitably be caught by a Game Warden and on top of giving up the fish, be forced to pay a fine.
The Father Fish --Careful, there may be a school of little guppies just waiting underneath your boat. You admire your catch and then look down and see that you're surrounded. Oh you may want your own cutsie little ones but that seems like years down the road and you don't even have an aquarium at home!
The Fish with NO JOB/CAR --This one is self-explanatory.
The Jerk Fish (also called Dick or Ass) --Oh he's cool. He's the hottest, baddest fish in the frickin' sea. He's also the one you see on those posters that show Ocean Hierarchy-he's the one with that little light thing on his head, tricking the other tinier fishes into hanging out long enough to DEVOUR them. He may look pretty good on a motorcycle, but chances are he's not going to be a fish that will treat you well. Not even if you get him the cool treasure chest to go in his tank.
The Addicted Fish --These guys are the ones that you wish you could help because they have PROBLEMS. There are many types of addicted fish. The Cocaine fish, the Alcoholic fish, the MJ fish, the list goes on. IF caught, the addicted fish will be a faithful and loving fish, but they aren't going to give anything up just because you want them to.
The Player Fish --This fish will hang around your boat for a while and then swim off to check out the yacht a mile away. These fish never stay on the hook long enough for you to reel them in.
I could go on about others that I haven't covered, but I hope that you catch my drift (ah ha. Pun)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
My Problems with Crazy Women.
I woke up this morning with a question:
Why, Oh why, does it seem like the crazy bitches of the world always have a man, who is usually decent more often than not- when us sane gals can't find a nice, responsible human being to save our lives?
I have pondered this many a times, but it's really starting to bug me. I wonder...what are the techniques of the crazy bitch? How do they manage to ensnare the unsuspecting male into their web of crazy and unstable?
Do they act nice and normal at first, and then do some kind of bewildering exercise to make sure the man doesn't want to leave for any reason, even after she stops the facade of being Betty Normal? "I'm leaving you"-Oh you'll never get The Crazy Crab Shuffle if you do!-"Curses, I must stay!!"
Do they take a valuable possession of the man during the initial courting and then hold it hostage when they say they want out?? "I can't stand you anymore!"-Do you ever want to see your [insert baseball card collection, autographed poster of so & so, anything father handed down, etc] again?? "Curses, I must stay until I finagle a way to get it out of your clutches!" Of course they obviously never find a way or forget about it until the next time they get upset and want to leave.
Is it that they tire of losing arguments and just want to win one before they leave? Because this will NEVER happen. You cannot argue and win with a crazy person BECAUSE THEY'RE CRAZY. It took me a long time to learn this, because I love to win an argument. It's hard to get over, I know this. I could talk myself blue in the face and be absolutely right in every aspect of the fight-still, the crazy bags of the world could talk themselves bluer, re-arrange every word spoken back and somehow in their crazy heads, make sense of their point. It's a phenomenon and only a great scholar...or maybe a hostage negotiator could figure out how to win when arguing with a crazy bitch. It ain't happening with us normal folk.
"I'm fed up, you're not making any sense, I'm leaving!"-Oh yeah, well maybe the sense you know isn't the sense that I'm familiar with and making it perfectly right now, at this moment in time in a different Universe!-"HUH??, Curses I must stay until I win this!!!"
Sometimes I think...maybe I should turn into a crazy bitch, because it seems like it's working for all those other crazy bitches out there.
But then I don't think I could stand myself or the crazy bitches I would start hanging out with, because I know my current friends would disown me if I ever started displaying Re-Re behavior. And honestly, I'm sure the guys aren't that happy and for whatever reason they stay with these ..ahh..people...has to be an interesting one...or maybe it's because these men have no backbone, maybe it's because they're too CS to leave. In that case, who would want a guy like that?...A crazy bitch.
Why, Oh why, does it seem like the crazy bitches of the world always have a man, who is usually decent more often than not- when us sane gals can't find a nice, responsible human being to save our lives?
I have pondered this many a times, but it's really starting to bug me. I wonder...what are the techniques of the crazy bitch? How do they manage to ensnare the unsuspecting male into their web of crazy and unstable?
Do they act nice and normal at first, and then do some kind of bewildering exercise to make sure the man doesn't want to leave for any reason, even after she stops the facade of being Betty Normal? "I'm leaving you"-Oh you'll never get The Crazy Crab Shuffle if you do!-"Curses, I must stay!!"
Do they take a valuable possession of the man during the initial courting and then hold it hostage when they say they want out?? "I can't stand you anymore!"-Do you ever want to see your [insert baseball card collection, autographed poster of so & so, anything father handed down, etc] again?? "Curses, I must stay until I finagle a way to get it out of your clutches!" Of course they obviously never find a way or forget about it until the next time they get upset and want to leave.
Is it that they tire of losing arguments and just want to win one before they leave? Because this will NEVER happen. You cannot argue and win with a crazy person BECAUSE THEY'RE CRAZY. It took me a long time to learn this, because I love to win an argument. It's hard to get over, I know this. I could talk myself blue in the face and be absolutely right in every aspect of the fight-still, the crazy bags of the world could talk themselves bluer, re-arrange every word spoken back and somehow in their crazy heads, make sense of their point. It's a phenomenon and only a great scholar...or maybe a hostage negotiator could figure out how to win when arguing with a crazy bitch. It ain't happening with us normal folk.
"I'm fed up, you're not making any sense, I'm leaving!"-Oh yeah, well maybe the sense you know isn't the sense that I'm familiar with and making it perfectly right now, at this moment in time in a different Universe!-"HUH??, Curses I must stay until I win this!!!"
Sometimes I think...maybe I should turn into a crazy bitch, because it seems like it's working for all those other crazy bitches out there.
But then I don't think I could stand myself or the crazy bitches I would start hanging out with, because I know my current friends would disown me if I ever started displaying Re-Re behavior. And honestly, I'm sure the guys aren't that happy and for whatever reason they stay with these ..ahh..people...has to be an interesting one...or maybe it's because these men have no backbone, maybe it's because they're too CS to leave. In that case, who would want a guy like that?...A crazy bitch.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
We know they won't win...
So it's been a while...
And not much has changed. Just been having fun with the girls on various random outings-Lunch here, dinner there- I'm so thankful for all my friends, without them who knows how much more sanity I would lose.
In light of recent events, I do want to ponder some questions that are floating around in my head.
When people try to hurt you, why do they want to bring in your family? Isn't there enough drama between two people as it is, without trying to add insult to someones relatives and friends? And when certain things are said-were they thinking that all along, just overlooking it to be with you? If there were issues with your lifestyle before, then why not bring it up in the beginning? It's almost like the stereotypical thought of a woman getting with a man and then trying to change them to fit their lifestyle better.
Which leads me to my next thought-The more I hear about and have experiences with men and relationships, the more I feel like Men are essentially Women....with a penis. Haha. But seriously-For all the hype and BS about women being over emotional, impractical, needy, whiny, etc-Men seem to be just as bad, even worse. Unless it's just a recent occurrence and the men of this generation are turning into sissies. Not that men shouldn't possess a sensitive side, but there's a point when it's time to stop crying and go plow a field or race a motorcycle or something. And what about the fact that more and more men are staying at home and women are becoming the main breadwinners of the household. This wouldn't be a problem, except for the most part it's because the men are lazy/scum/losers who could work but won't get a job. Very distasteful.
And speaking of distasteful, there is this loser/scum/mank who is in the store right now.Ugh. "I wanna get a job here girl, I'll come to work wit you" Yeah...right.
And not much has changed. Just been having fun with the girls on various random outings-Lunch here, dinner there- I'm so thankful for all my friends, without them who knows how much more sanity I would lose.
In light of recent events, I do want to ponder some questions that are floating around in my head.
When people try to hurt you, why do they want to bring in your family? Isn't there enough drama between two people as it is, without trying to add insult to someones relatives and friends? And when certain things are said-were they thinking that all along, just overlooking it to be with you? If there were issues with your lifestyle before, then why not bring it up in the beginning? It's almost like the stereotypical thought of a woman getting with a man and then trying to change them to fit their lifestyle better.
Which leads me to my next thought-The more I hear about and have experiences with men and relationships, the more I feel like Men are essentially Women....with a penis. Haha. But seriously-For all the hype and BS about women being over emotional, impractical, needy, whiny, etc-Men seem to be just as bad, even worse. Unless it's just a recent occurrence and the men of this generation are turning into sissies. Not that men shouldn't possess a sensitive side, but there's a point when it's time to stop crying and go plow a field or race a motorcycle or something. And what about the fact that more and more men are staying at home and women are becoming the main breadwinners of the household. This wouldn't be a problem, except for the most part it's because the men are lazy/scum/losers who could work but won't get a job. Very distasteful.
And speaking of distasteful, there is this loser/scum/mank who is in the store right now.Ugh. "I wanna get a job here girl, I'll come to work wit you" Yeah...right.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The Throes of Summer
As I was walking across my uncle's yard today, I realized that summer is finally here. I came to this realization when I started stepping over weeds that haven't been mowed yet.
Summer in Florida means it's too hot to mow your grass. You have to wait until your yard becomes an unbearable jungle and you fear for your life from snakes and salamanders before you can actually stand the thought of taking the lawnmower for a spin-Because no matter what, you're going to end up going through at least 4 glasses of tea, having a lame-o Farmer's or Tank Top tan and dirt and grass all over your body all the while sliding off the seat because you're sweating out 2/3s of your water weight.
Another wonderful summer treat is the free sauna you get every time you get in your car. Whether it's a ten minute trip into the store or checking the mail, you get a spa like treatment including a hot stone massage for your hands when gripping your steering wheel that has somehow turned from Rubber into HOT MAGMA the moment the AC is turned off.
Don't get me wrong-I enjoy summer. It was the best when we were little kids-All you could think about was swimming. Anything with water was the best. I don't know if any of the hotels around here still let you swim for a fee when you're not staying there. If that had been the case when I was little-there would've been many crying fits and foot stampings. I remember watching my sister and her friends lay out tannning and I would think to myself "How can they do that all day when there's so much beautiful water to play mermaids and marco polo and tag and racing?!!" I don't know exactly when the transition took place but now I lay on my float for hours without even noticing that there's water below me.
Summer also makes me feel nostalgic. I think about nights at my relative's river houses and how much I miss family vacations to the beach. I know I must've got on my siblings nerves when I was little, I wish we could all go on vacation together now so they could actually enjoy my company a little more. Haha. I also think about softball games and fireworks in CK. Just the little things, you know? Sigh.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Might as well face it...
Addicted to Loooove
Ohhh 80s-you gave us some really good music and some really bad music. And I guess that's why we have radio stations that give us the best of you, the 90s & today. Except the today part includes a handful of the most annoying songs of the decade which you decide to play repeatedly until we want to vomit knives(kudos to jessica for that expression, yes I stole it because I love it.)
Anywho,
So the other day while my bro was here visiting, we went to watch Star Trek. Amazing btw, it made me want to watch the old episodes and then go back and watch it again. So I could pick up more things...yeah.... So when we went to order popcorn and drinks, I picked up on the vibe of the cashier trying to upsell items to us. For $.25 more you can get this GInormous vat of popcorn instead of the medium which you won't be able to finish anyhow. And then I ordered a water. He told me for $.50 more I could get a Liter. Immediately Farva raced through my brain shouting "GIVE ME A GD LITER OF COLA" So before I could stop myself I erupted with LITER COLA! BAHAHAHHAHAHA Do you have Liter Cola, what's a liter cola?? Unfortunately, I don't think the dude had ever seen Super Troopers, which Puh, Shame on him. I think my brother got it....maybe.
In other news-
Fonnie has discovered her reflection and she.does.not.like.it! The other night she barked and growled at the glass on my entertainment center for a good 15 minutes. I would've stopped her but every time she growled she sounded more and more like the Cowardly Lion off the Wizard of Oz. It was way too entertaining to interrupt. "If iiii were the KHiinng of the Forrrresst!"
Has anyone seen the latest pic of Adam Lambert? What is up with the guy always thinking he's fat? Every time I read anything on him, he's made a comment about his weight. He's super cute and just got on the cover of Rolling Stone but this pic I saw of him on Yahoo? Looks like plastic. Very very Mannequin-esque. Still cute though. Never watched AI so I have no idea what he sounds like. And I didn't know they had to be all hush hush on AI about their sexuality...of course, clay aiken held it in for quite awhile after...but c'mon.
That's all for now...Oh go to Yahoo and click on Entertainment for the pic I'm talkin' about. Too lazy to post it.
Ohhh 80s-you gave us some really good music and some really bad music. And I guess that's why we have radio stations that give us the best of you, the 90s & today. Except the today part includes a handful of the most annoying songs of the decade which you decide to play repeatedly until we want to vomit knives(kudos to jessica for that expression, yes I stole it because I love it.)
Anywho,
So the other day while my bro was here visiting, we went to watch Star Trek. Amazing btw, it made me want to watch the old episodes and then go back and watch it again. So I could pick up more things...yeah.... So when we went to order popcorn and drinks, I picked up on the vibe of the cashier trying to upsell items to us. For $.25 more you can get this GInormous vat of popcorn instead of the medium which you won't be able to finish anyhow. And then I ordered a water. He told me for $.50 more I could get a Liter. Immediately Farva raced through my brain shouting "GIVE ME A GD LITER OF COLA" So before I could stop myself I erupted with LITER COLA! BAHAHAHHAHAHA Do you have Liter Cola, what's a liter cola?? Unfortunately, I don't think the dude had ever seen Super Troopers, which Puh, Shame on him. I think my brother got it....maybe.
In other news-
Fonnie has discovered her reflection and she.does.not.like.it! The other night she barked and growled at the glass on my entertainment center for a good 15 minutes. I would've stopped her but every time she growled she sounded more and more like the Cowardly Lion off the Wizard of Oz. It was way too entertaining to interrupt. "If iiii were the KHiinng of the Forrrresst!"
Has anyone seen the latest pic of Adam Lambert? What is up with the guy always thinking he's fat? Every time I read anything on him, he's made a comment about his weight. He's super cute and just got on the cover of Rolling Stone but this pic I saw of him on Yahoo? Looks like plastic. Very very Mannequin-esque. Still cute though. Never watched AI so I have no idea what he sounds like. And I didn't know they had to be all hush hush on AI about their sexuality...of course, clay aiken held it in for quite awhile after...but c'mon.
That's all for now...Oh go to Yahoo and click on Entertainment for the pic I'm talkin' about. Too lazy to post it.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
I Sat At The Window In My Room...
That is an amazazing song by Allison Krauss that I have NEVER EVER been able to find. It's off the Ya Ya Sisterhood movie and I have never been able to download it. (Buy the soundtrack you say? BAHAHHAHAHA)
A few things today-
My ear is definately different. I feel vibrations from echos and loudness, everything sounds louder, people sound louder to me. It's a crazy sensation, kind of uncomfortable but no, I am not having First Sight caliber problems like Blindy McBlinderson. (if that is offensive, I am sorry.) Now all i need to do is go to a movie theater and have someone sit on my left side and whisper to me the whole time...I need a good "whisper about" movie...any suggestions?
Last night, I think I dreamt the most vivid dream I have ever had. There was a pool and i could feel the water when I jumped in. I saw alot of people that I haven't seen in a long time and it was just crazy insane how real it was. I even made out with somebody I didn't even know and I could taste their mouth & tongue (Sorry. Graphic, Have you ever made out with strangers? HOT... Dream-wise of course heh heh) Of course, this morning I feel beat...
I wish I was a more encouraging person. Being the baby of my family has made me very self-centered so I do tend to forget about things not concerning me and it makes me feel like a very crappy person. It's no excuse about my personality now, because I know how I act and I have the ability to change that. I do want to be more helpful, more compassionate and sacrificing--just can't forget to take the opportunities to do that when they are presented to me. So I'm going to continue to work on that. Just letting everyone know...
Wow weird paragraph. That's pretty much it for now. Aleta-you are my best friend and I love you dearly-I had so much fun with you the last weekend and you are my bright light! Night Bright (I Love those things!) Anyway, I just wish I could make you happy again because you deserve to be Happy!
A few things today-
My ear is definately different. I feel vibrations from echos and loudness, everything sounds louder, people sound louder to me. It's a crazy sensation, kind of uncomfortable but no, I am not having First Sight caliber problems like Blindy McBlinderson. (if that is offensive, I am sorry.) Now all i need to do is go to a movie theater and have someone sit on my left side and whisper to me the whole time...I need a good "whisper about" movie...any suggestions?
Last night, I think I dreamt the most vivid dream I have ever had. There was a pool and i could feel the water when I jumped in. I saw alot of people that I haven't seen in a long time and it was just crazy insane how real it was. I even made out with somebody I didn't even know and I could taste their mouth & tongue (Sorry. Graphic, Have you ever made out with strangers? HOT... Dream-wise of course heh heh) Of course, this morning I feel beat...
I wish I was a more encouraging person. Being the baby of my family has made me very self-centered so I do tend to forget about things not concerning me and it makes me feel like a very crappy person. It's no excuse about my personality now, because I know how I act and I have the ability to change that. I do want to be more helpful, more compassionate and sacrificing--just can't forget to take the opportunities to do that when they are presented to me. So I'm going to continue to work on that. Just letting everyone know...
Wow weird paragraph. That's pretty much it for now. Aleta-you are my best friend and I love you dearly-I had so much fun with you the last weekend and you are my bright light! Night Bright (I Love those things!) Anyway, I just wish I could make you happy again because you deserve to be Happy!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
A Few Notes to Self:
After finishing up the Rum last night (My house is now dry, Thank you...for how long?...) I realize this morning that I may have made a few bad decisions.
1-Using my phone to call....Everyone. Lol. I did have a good conversation with my buddy Charley. He seemed like the only one willing to brave a chat after hearing my slurring "I miss you man" voicemails. **Note to self: If going to be drinking on a Wednesday night, do not call all of your friends to inform them, For fear of losing them by implying you are a raging alcoholic.
2-I have this hang up about changing out of work clothes to reg clothes when I get home, it just creates more laundry to do later but I want to be comfortable, but then what if I have to go somewhere? But do I want to go there in my dressy work clothes anyway? Dilemma. So last night I mixy-matchied. I left this tube top on (fancy tube top, wore jacket over it in public anyway, shut up.)and I changed into some sleepy shorts. I was listening to a pretty awesome CD and after starting "to feel the music" (the only way i could describe it) I decided I was going to dance in my black high heels and pretend I was Lady GaGa. Yes I understand that I am 23 years old. **Note to self: When being Lady GaGa, remember to take the heels off to take the dog out. Sinking into the ground with every step you take is not becoming, nor is it safe after fun times with Rum.
3-Watching TBS, where they have a tendency to play the same movie over and over.**Note to self: DO NOT WATCH THE NOTEBOOK.EVER.
Something else that I noticed last night and yesterday-Everything was Loud. Is lefty starting to function?? Hope Hope Hope! But then I got scared-Am I going to be like Val Kilmer in At First Sight or whatever that movie is?? He had a really hard time adjusting to his new vision...of course he was totally blind whereareas I am not/wasn't completely deaf. Still, things were loud-I heard a truck that I swore was in my front yard, driving up into my house. And I don't have ol' what's her face to guide me along the way, then break up with me and then get back together at the very end. (For those of you who haven't seen the movie-Yeah that's the way it happens. Sorry.)
1-Using my phone to call....Everyone. Lol. I did have a good conversation with my buddy Charley. He seemed like the only one willing to brave a chat after hearing my slurring "I miss you man" voicemails. **Note to self: If going to be drinking on a Wednesday night, do not call all of your friends to inform them, For fear of losing them by implying you are a raging alcoholic.
2-I have this hang up about changing out of work clothes to reg clothes when I get home, it just creates more laundry to do later but I want to be comfortable, but then what if I have to go somewhere? But do I want to go there in my dressy work clothes anyway? Dilemma. So last night I mixy-matchied. I left this tube top on (fancy tube top, wore jacket over it in public anyway, shut up.)and I changed into some sleepy shorts. I was listening to a pretty awesome CD and after starting "to feel the music" (the only way i could describe it) I decided I was going to dance in my black high heels and pretend I was Lady GaGa. Yes I understand that I am 23 years old. **Note to self: When being Lady GaGa, remember to take the heels off to take the dog out. Sinking into the ground with every step you take is not becoming, nor is it safe after fun times with Rum.
3-Watching TBS, where they have a tendency to play the same movie over and over.**Note to self: DO NOT WATCH THE NOTEBOOK.EVER.
Something else that I noticed last night and yesterday-Everything was Loud. Is lefty starting to function?? Hope Hope Hope! But then I got scared-Am I going to be like Val Kilmer in At First Sight or whatever that movie is?? He had a really hard time adjusting to his new vision...of course he was totally blind whereareas I am not/wasn't completely deaf. Still, things were loud-I heard a truck that I swore was in my front yard, driving up into my house. And I don't have ol' what's her face to guide me along the way, then break up with me and then get back together at the very end. (For those of you who haven't seen the movie-Yeah that's the way it happens. Sorry.)
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Laziness=Redneck Skank Lifestyle?
This morning a thought/question crossed my mind that led me to rehash my behavior these past couple weeks and assess a few personality traits to come to a conclusion to appease the thought/question nagging at my brain.
The thought/question: I am the skank redneck neighbor? (think of Ron Burgundy's "I'm Ron Burgundy?") (Not "am I", did that on purpose mind you)
The Answer: Most signs are sadly pointing to YES.
What triggered this in the first place? Well it came to me this morning, as I ran outside to my mother's car (she was dropping off my mail) in a flimsy pink shirt, No bra, and leopard print hot pants (shorty short shorts I only wear as jammies/under dance wear). I was also wearing men's flip flops and my hair was in a flippy clip that took the place of the scrunchy back in 95 and as I went out the door, the dog got out and I had to chase her down in the yard (no bra) to get her back inside the house. It occurred to me that this was almost an exact repeat of what happened yesterday, when my mom dropped off some other piece of mail; except I was wearing a blue shirt, still no bra, and another pair of some kind of very short fuzzy material and I had to chase the dog all the way across the street before I caught her.
Cut to Monday-Feeling kind of down and stressed out from work, I made a hasty date with some Rum that's been sitting in the fridge, all alooone, for a while now. Alas, I only had tea and Kool aid (sp?) and I really am not that much of an alcoholic to where I'm able to drink it straight. I tried the tea first-Do NOT ever mix tea with rum. Sorry Koolaid, should've known it would be you-And honestly, coconut rum+pink lemonade= not that bad when you're wanting to catch a buzz. So I'm in the backyard, holding my pink concoction, in black work pants and barefoot, again chasing after the dog. Leto comes over and I now have Dr. Pepper to mix with rum, yay! Very fun night btw. Lol.
Rewind back to the beginning of last week-I'm out in the backyard again, Bud Light cans lined up on a bench (I wasn't about to waste energy going in and out of the house to pick up more/throw away empties, plus I was trying to get rid of leftover beer, sue me) and doing my best birdie warble impression to Fonnie.
Now taking a look at every morning for the past month, I go out into the backyard in short shorts, tank tops, and bedroom shoes (really my only other form of footwear beside flops) no bra, no robe, no form of decency.
Now you might be saying to yourself-Well she's just a whorey dresser. But I digress for I am southern, I do enjoy sweet tea, cornbread, trucks and I can drink any kind of beer and enjoy myself, so i believe redneck comes into the picture-Overgrown lawn, beer cans, etc.
Examining the evidence though, most of my behavior stems from innate laziness....So i'm wondering is that what causes the redneck behavior? Are rednecks just lazy people? or is Redneck synonymous with Lazy? But that can't be so because a lot of rednecks are also hard workers....
Given the neighborhood I live in, I'm honestly not that worried about being pegged a redneck skank. That would be higher up on the totem pole than most. But if I ever moved, I might have to tweak my approach to morning apparel.
On a totally different note-
I broke my favorite measuring cup, Favorite meaning the only 1 cup measuring cup I have. I was making Koolaid(ah hah.) and i dipped the cup into the sugar and the little handle broke off in my hand. WTH? Now instead of buying a new one, I shall use this cup and be reminded that using mangled cookware may work against my shedding of the Redneck skank title.
Anyway, I'm off to go eat Hardees for breakfast, Sweet Tea instead of Orange Juice please.
The thought/question: I am the skank redneck neighbor? (think of Ron Burgundy's "I'm Ron Burgundy?") (Not "am I", did that on purpose mind you)
The Answer: Most signs are sadly pointing to YES.
What triggered this in the first place? Well it came to me this morning, as I ran outside to my mother's car (she was dropping off my mail) in a flimsy pink shirt, No bra, and leopard print hot pants (shorty short shorts I only wear as jammies/under dance wear). I was also wearing men's flip flops and my hair was in a flippy clip that took the place of the scrunchy back in 95 and as I went out the door, the dog got out and I had to chase her down in the yard (no bra) to get her back inside the house. It occurred to me that this was almost an exact repeat of what happened yesterday, when my mom dropped off some other piece of mail; except I was wearing a blue shirt, still no bra, and another pair of some kind of very short fuzzy material and I had to chase the dog all the way across the street before I caught her.
Cut to Monday-Feeling kind of down and stressed out from work, I made a hasty date with some Rum that's been sitting in the fridge, all alooone, for a while now. Alas, I only had tea and Kool aid (sp?) and I really am not that much of an alcoholic to where I'm able to drink it straight. I tried the tea first-Do NOT ever mix tea with rum. Sorry Koolaid, should've known it would be you-And honestly, coconut rum+pink lemonade= not that bad when you're wanting to catch a buzz. So I'm in the backyard, holding my pink concoction, in black work pants and barefoot, again chasing after the dog. Leto comes over and I now have Dr. Pepper to mix with rum, yay! Very fun night btw. Lol.
Rewind back to the beginning of last week-I'm out in the backyard again, Bud Light cans lined up on a bench (I wasn't about to waste energy going in and out of the house to pick up more/throw away empties, plus I was trying to get rid of leftover beer, sue me) and doing my best birdie warble impression to Fonnie.
Now taking a look at every morning for the past month, I go out into the backyard in short shorts, tank tops, and bedroom shoes (really my only other form of footwear beside flops) no bra, no robe, no form of decency.
Now you might be saying to yourself-Well she's just a whorey dresser. But I digress for I am southern, I do enjoy sweet tea, cornbread, trucks and I can drink any kind of beer and enjoy myself, so i believe redneck comes into the picture-Overgrown lawn, beer cans, etc.
Examining the evidence though, most of my behavior stems from innate laziness....So i'm wondering is that what causes the redneck behavior? Are rednecks just lazy people? or is Redneck synonymous with Lazy? But that can't be so because a lot of rednecks are also hard workers....
Given the neighborhood I live in, I'm honestly not that worried about being pegged a redneck skank. That would be higher up on the totem pole than most. But if I ever moved, I might have to tweak my approach to morning apparel.
On a totally different note-
I broke my favorite measuring cup, Favorite meaning the only 1 cup measuring cup I have. I was making Koolaid(ah hah.) and i dipped the cup into the sugar and the little handle broke off in my hand. WTH? Now instead of buying a new one, I shall use this cup and be reminded that using mangled cookware may work against my shedding of the Redneck skank title.
Anyway, I'm off to go eat Hardees for breakfast, Sweet Tea instead of Orange Juice please.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Ohh the sexy times
Recently I've been having these nights/mornings where I'll wake up in the wee hours of the morning (4-5am) wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I don't understand why my body is doing this to me, maybe to give me a chance to judge the caliber of darkness in my room? Which I do, I like it almost as much as the contemplation game of reasons why to stay in bed and reasons why to get up; Bed=I need sleep, Up=I could clean the bathroom. Bed=Still dark outside, Up=I could bake a pie!
If you didn't realize-This is one of these times. And Up got the "upper hand" Ah ha hahahahaa. Lame, I know.
I've been awake since 4:30 am, it is now almost 6. Only an hour away from 7 which is my regular time to get up. Sooo guess it's no going back to sleep for me.I'll devote some time to you, my lovely blog.
The birds are crazy at this hour. I have no idea what I'm hearing but it's not the normal twitter tweet, more like warbling? Squawking? It reminds me of Yellowstone-I'm in a paper thin tent and it's dark 30 outside and all the freakin birds start going crazy. Every morning. Nature's alarm clock. That's when I'd pull my beanie over my face, sinch my hoodie tight around my head and roll over as best i could in my 4 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of socks and 5 blankets...In my sleeping bag. I am a cold natured person, mornings on a mountain means wrapping myself up tighter than cellophane on a piece of processed cheese.
Oh 6 o'clock now!
Recently a few friends and I have been reminiscing about past endeavors. I've come to realize that I don't miss the boys**, High School junk/events, or the "hardly any responsibility" lifestyle- I miss the availability that me and my friends had. Looking back it seemed like we could always all pull together for any occasion. Now it's work and college and babies and husbands making our busy schedules---All things that are fine and part of our lives now, don't get me wrong, it's a part of growing up. And I'm so lucky to have kept so many close friends from high school-a few of them from middle & even elementary (Props LETO! Lol) So yeah, I just miss that commradery of being able to form a party in seconds on a friday night or all going to the same birthday party. I wish we had more of that....friends and family are the most enjoyable, entertaining and free things in life. Haha.
Another thing of the contemplation-What things do people find sexy and why? I mean-yeah everyone can agree that say Ryan Gosling is smoking hot (the guy from the notebook) and Rachel McAdams is soo pretty (the girl from the notebook...I don't know why I happen to pick those two, but they are universally pretty people that I could think of within 30 seconds..so yeah..Oh and the notebook was really sweet) So my question is-what are those off the wall things that make people attracted to one another? Liiike-Why is my sister attracted to Much Older men. Why do I like Seth Rogen***? Why did God make boobs so freaking irresistable to men? Why is it that the V shapey tummy with a pair of low rise jeans showing the guys boxers like amazing super d duper hot? That mom from Weeds****?
These are questions that just roll around in the noggin. Different chemical make up and pheremones? Personality traits and DNA? Things to ponder, indeed.
It's almost 6:30 and I'm starting to feel sleepy. Maybe I'll catch the next 30 mins and dream about sexy times.
**-Boy chasing
***-Because I'm weird
****-she was also on Fried Green Tomatoes like 20 years ago, she's aging really well I would say.
If you didn't realize-This is one of these times. And Up got the "upper hand" Ah ha hahahahaa. Lame, I know.
I've been awake since 4:30 am, it is now almost 6. Only an hour away from 7 which is my regular time to get up. Sooo guess it's no going back to sleep for me.I'll devote some time to you, my lovely blog.
The birds are crazy at this hour. I have no idea what I'm hearing but it's not the normal twitter tweet, more like warbling? Squawking? It reminds me of Yellowstone-I'm in a paper thin tent and it's dark 30 outside and all the freakin birds start going crazy. Every morning. Nature's alarm clock. That's when I'd pull my beanie over my face, sinch my hoodie tight around my head and roll over as best i could in my 4 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of socks and 5 blankets...In my sleeping bag. I am a cold natured person, mornings on a mountain means wrapping myself up tighter than cellophane on a piece of processed cheese.
Oh 6 o'clock now!
Recently a few friends and I have been reminiscing about past endeavors. I've come to realize that I don't miss the boys**, High School junk/events, or the "hardly any responsibility" lifestyle- I miss the availability that me and my friends had. Looking back it seemed like we could always all pull together for any occasion. Now it's work and college and babies and husbands making our busy schedules---All things that are fine and part of our lives now, don't get me wrong, it's a part of growing up. And I'm so lucky to have kept so many close friends from high school-a few of them from middle & even elementary (Props LETO! Lol) So yeah, I just miss that commradery of being able to form a party in seconds on a friday night or all going to the same birthday party. I wish we had more of that....friends and family are the most enjoyable, entertaining and free things in life. Haha.
Another thing of the contemplation-What things do people find sexy and why? I mean-yeah everyone can agree that say Ryan Gosling is smoking hot (the guy from the notebook) and Rachel McAdams is soo pretty (the girl from the notebook...I don't know why I happen to pick those two, but they are universally pretty people that I could think of within 30 seconds..so yeah..Oh and the notebook was really sweet) So my question is-what are those off the wall things that make people attracted to one another? Liiike-Why is my sister attracted to Much Older men. Why do I like Seth Rogen***? Why did God make boobs so freaking irresistable to men? Why is it that the V shapey tummy with a pair of low rise jeans showing the guys boxers like amazing super d duper hot? That mom from Weeds****?
These are questions that just roll around in the noggin. Different chemical make up and pheremones? Personality traits and DNA? Things to ponder, indeed.
It's almost 6:30 and I'm starting to feel sleepy. Maybe I'll catch the next 30 mins and dream about sexy times.
**-Boy chasing
***-Because I'm weird
****-she was also on Fried Green Tomatoes like 20 years ago, she's aging really well I would say.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
SO SLOW
I really wish I had a job that did not involve sales.
Every time I am in this store, no one comes in. I feel like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory="No one ever goes out, No one ever goes in." Jerks!
I leave for lunch-we get busy-I come back, we get slow. I have a day off-busy. I work all week=slooooooow.
Jerks!
I'm so tired of having quotas pushed on me. So tired of pushing crap.
Blegh. It's my own fault I guess...Blegh Retail.
Moving on-
On a brighter note: Wolverine was awesomeo yesterday! Ahhhh Hugh Jackman, Ahhhh Ryan Reynolds, Ahhhh Leiv Schrieber, Ahhh that other guy!
A lot of action, but definitely plenty of Eye Candy for the ladies.
Now I just have to wait until Transformers 2 comes out--Shia Labeouf, oh if we ever met, I just know the sparks would fly!.....
Enough of that.
Update on The Fonz- She has entered "Crazy Puppy Stage", the one where she freaks out and runs super fast in circles for about 1 minute. She is also jealous of my make up items, which sit on the foot rest in the morning for my accessibility, since I'm in front of the big mirror in the living room. She will growl at them(lifeless containers & brushes), no lie, until i move the stuff to the table. She also likes toes and feet, for licking, for biting-she bites to test if she will get in trouble and darn it, every time!Too bad Mommy is consistent. Other than that, she is still the cutest puppy ever and unfortunately, I hope she knows that...I don't know why I want a prissy dog...Maybe it's from watching Oliver & Company too many times...the poodle Georgette-How I loved her!
Every time I am in this store, no one comes in. I feel like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory="No one ever goes out, No one ever goes in." Jerks!
I leave for lunch-we get busy-I come back, we get slow. I have a day off-busy. I work all week=slooooooow.
Jerks!
I'm so tired of having quotas pushed on me. So tired of pushing crap.
Blegh. It's my own fault I guess...Blegh Retail.
Moving on-
On a brighter note: Wolverine was awesomeo yesterday! Ahhhh Hugh Jackman, Ahhhh Ryan Reynolds, Ahhhh Leiv Schrieber, Ahhh that other guy!
A lot of action, but definitely plenty of Eye Candy for the ladies.
Now I just have to wait until Transformers 2 comes out--Shia Labeouf, oh if we ever met, I just know the sparks would fly!.....
Enough of that.
Update on The Fonz- She has entered "Crazy Puppy Stage", the one where she freaks out and runs super fast in circles for about 1 minute. She is also jealous of my make up items, which sit on the foot rest in the morning for my accessibility, since I'm in front of the big mirror in the living room. She will growl at them(lifeless containers & brushes), no lie, until i move the stuff to the table. She also likes toes and feet, for licking, for biting-she bites to test if she will get in trouble and darn it, every time!Too bad Mommy is consistent. Other than that, she is still the cutest puppy ever and unfortunately, I hope she knows that...I don't know why I want a prissy dog...Maybe it's from watching Oliver & Company too many times...the poodle Georgette-How I loved her!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Upper Management.
Ummmmm
Ok.
The question on my mind lately is: Why, oh why, does it seem like the most idiotic, under qualified people end up in management positions? Not only are they the most annoying people you'll ever meet, but also completely unaware that no one likes them. I mean, how can you not know that your misspellings, trashy lifestyle, & bad taste offends every normal person within a 100 mile radius of you!
I guess it must be the lying skills. These people must have the longest proverbial Pinnochio noses in the history of Liars. Its too bad for us non-pathological types, slaving to the Brown Nosers, the Fakies, & the Cokeheads....or a combo of all three rolled into one. I say "Blegh" to this BS.
Now before I can go any further-I must say that I have had a few good bosses in the past-they weren't all crazy and I miss them very much.
I. Am. Tired. And not just for myself-but for all my friends who have to suffer through these people, day in, day out; just working hard for the money; even worse if they actually don't mind their job, but their boss ruins it for them.
I believe that must be included in like a "Life's Top 5 Ironies" list. Love your job, hate your boss.
Ok.
The question on my mind lately is: Why, oh why, does it seem like the most idiotic, under qualified people end up in management positions? Not only are they the most annoying people you'll ever meet, but also completely unaware that no one likes them. I mean, how can you not know that your misspellings, trashy lifestyle, & bad taste offends every normal person within a 100 mile radius of you!
I guess it must be the lying skills. These people must have the longest proverbial Pinnochio noses in the history of Liars. Its too bad for us non-pathological types, slaving to the Brown Nosers, the Fakies, & the Cokeheads....or a combo of all three rolled into one. I say "Blegh" to this BS.
Now before I can go any further-I must say that I have had a few good bosses in the past-they weren't all crazy and I miss them very much.
I. Am. Tired. And not just for myself-but for all my friends who have to suffer through these people, day in, day out; just working hard for the money; even worse if they actually don't mind their job, but their boss ruins it for them.
I believe that must be included in like a "Life's Top 5 Ironies" list. Love your job, hate your boss.
Monday, April 27, 2009
It's Me or the Dog
Oohhh Victoria Stillwell, you have an infinite supply of doggie wisdom. How I love your show, the crazy pet owners you encounter...one day i hope my dog will behave just as good as the ones you train......
Until then-
I believe my dog does not like to poop in the dark. I recently got a new puppy (Fontaine,Fonnie for short, she's a cocker spaniel)and I'm worried I'm going to over mother her...which will induce prissiness & snobbery. And last night, I think I saw an example-So she usually takes a little bathroom break at the beginning & in the middle of night and not to be gross, but usually i see at least two number "2"s...when we went outside, many times, she didn't want to go any further then the aloe plant-which is right next to the house. And she refused to go number 2. Refused. -Now, good doggie training says to pick a spot and stick with it when potty-training, but last night, i was just trying to get her to GO.
3 things come to mind.
1-she is constipated
2-Who would want to take a poop in the dark anyway?
3-she's lazy.
It might be a combination of all 3. Or mayhap, she is becoming like me...I, for one, do not enjoy pooping in the dark and am very lazy. If she is like this, then I guess it's going to be smooth sailing for nighttime activity.
Anyway, she is very cute and adorable, and I'm going to post some pics when i get access to a better computer.
In other news---
SWINE FLU=Scared, already germaphobe & hypocondriactic (sp? word?) Krystle. First West nile, then mad cow, then hoof & mouth, Bird flu(not as scary-all the way across the world, but still) NOW This. I've never even had a flu shot-didn't think it was good for me, ppl always seem to come down with flu even when they have flu shots...doesn't seem very affective...and now...umm...should i get one?? Should I retrieve the mask that i wore the first day i went back to work after surgery??? I'm already taking like a bazillion mgs of Vitamin C, Echinacea, and drinking at least one Emergen-C a day.
Should I not worry?? The White House says not to. I mean, they reported Obama was playing golf...not worried...hmm
On to American Morning's tips about erasing your "cyber footprint", AM brought in a "cyber expert" to explain how you can limit your info on the web. Now, I can't remember the girl's name-but she started asking some sad questions. "So "so&so", say there are pictures on my facebook and i'm worried that a potential employer might see them...what do i do?" UMMMMMM....You put them on there....You could probably figure out how to take them off...say...Delete an album?? "What if someone tagged me?" UMMMMM go to the pic and click on "Untag"????
Oh American Morning....sigh.
Until then-
I believe my dog does not like to poop in the dark. I recently got a new puppy (Fontaine,Fonnie for short, she's a cocker spaniel)and I'm worried I'm going to over mother her...which will induce prissiness & snobbery. And last night, I think I saw an example-So she usually takes a little bathroom break at the beginning & in the middle of night and not to be gross, but usually i see at least two number "2"s...when we went outside, many times, she didn't want to go any further then the aloe plant-which is right next to the house. And she refused to go number 2. Refused. -Now, good doggie training says to pick a spot and stick with it when potty-training, but last night, i was just trying to get her to GO.
3 things come to mind.
1-she is constipated
2-Who would want to take a poop in the dark anyway?
3-she's lazy.
It might be a combination of all 3. Or mayhap, she is becoming like me...I, for one, do not enjoy pooping in the dark and am very lazy. If she is like this, then I guess it's going to be smooth sailing for nighttime activity.
Anyway, she is very cute and adorable, and I'm going to post some pics when i get access to a better computer.
In other news---
SWINE FLU=Scared, already germaphobe & hypocondriactic (sp? word?) Krystle. First West nile, then mad cow, then hoof & mouth, Bird flu(not as scary-all the way across the world, but still) NOW This. I've never even had a flu shot-didn't think it was good for me, ppl always seem to come down with flu even when they have flu shots...doesn't seem very affective...and now...umm...should i get one?? Should I retrieve the mask that i wore the first day i went back to work after surgery??? I'm already taking like a bazillion mgs of Vitamin C, Echinacea, and drinking at least one Emergen-C a day.
Should I not worry?? The White House says not to. I mean, they reported Obama was playing golf...not worried...hmm
On to American Morning's tips about erasing your "cyber footprint", AM brought in a "cyber expert" to explain how you can limit your info on the web. Now, I can't remember the girl's name-but she started asking some sad questions. "So "so&so", say there are pictures on my facebook and i'm worried that a potential employer might see them...what do i do?" UMMMMMM....You put them on there....You could probably figure out how to take them off...say...Delete an album?? "What if someone tagged me?" UMMMMM go to the pic and click on "Untag"????
Oh American Morning....sigh.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
So who is this guy
and why does he feel the need to drive by my street at 7:30 in the morning, revving his engine and (from my deduction of sounds in my hearing impaired state right now) speeding like a bat out of H??!!!?!
I'm thinking of setting up a surveillance camera...or a stake out (when it starts getting warmer in the mornings) involving a carton of eggs.
Speaking of mornings, since I don't have local channels (i'm gonna get you DirectTV, i'm.gonna.get.you.) and like watching the news whilst eating brekky(insert "you are old" comment here)American Morning. The show is fine, reports the news & blah blah, but this morning I was watching & as it starts coming back on from a commercial break, i hear music from a familiar song. As I'm laying on the couch (Not lazy-Eardrops.) I start remembering clubbing escapades, long night joy rides....Holy Crap, they're playing Fergilicious??? No lie-the music from Fergilicious on a CNN show...i start paying attention now-Next commercial break-Swear it sounds like something from 50 or Luda.
Ok CNN, we get it. You're hip, you are down- playing your songs from 2006...or whenever Fergilicious came out. {Don't judge me, I have no perception of time-how it elapses, continues on...whatever}
You know, I realize that I use a lot of parenthesis and brackets-if this is annoying, I'm sorry. I can't help myself.
Another hot thought in my brain-
Have you seen Camilla Belle lately???
What has happened to that girl??? Where's the rest of her? All I see is a giant head and Toothpick arms. There's cute Ginnifer Goodwin (love her btw!), just smilin' in her cute dress and normal shape and then there's crazy big head toothpick arm w/ no back.
I mean, she was cool-she did The Ballad of Jack & Rose, very indie and Daniel Day Lewis-HELLO! But now...stick figure...Jonas brother? Siiiigh.
I'm thinking of setting up a surveillance camera...or a stake out (when it starts getting warmer in the mornings) involving a carton of eggs.
Speaking of mornings, since I don't have local channels (i'm gonna get you DirectTV, i'm.gonna.get.you.) and like watching the news whilst eating brekky(insert "you are old" comment here)American Morning. The show is fine, reports the news & blah blah, but this morning I was watching & as it starts coming back on from a commercial break, i hear music from a familiar song. As I'm laying on the couch (Not lazy-Eardrops.) I start remembering clubbing escapades, long night joy rides....Holy Crap, they're playing Fergilicious??? No lie-the music from Fergilicious on a CNN show...i start paying attention now-Next commercial break-Swear it sounds like something from 50 or Luda.
Ok CNN, we get it. You're hip, you are down- playing your songs from 2006...or whenever Fergilicious came out. {Don't judge me, I have no perception of time-how it elapses, continues on...whatever}
You know, I realize that I use a lot of parenthesis and brackets-if this is annoying, I'm sorry. I can't help myself.
Another hot thought in my brain-
Have you seen Camilla Belle lately???
What has happened to that girl??? Where's the rest of her? All I see is a giant head and Toothpick arms. There's cute Ginnifer Goodwin (love her btw!), just smilin' in her cute dress and normal shape and then there's crazy big head toothpick arm w/ no back.
I mean, she was cool-she did The Ballad of Jack & Rose, very indie and Daniel Day Lewis-HELLO! But now...stick figure...Jonas brother? Siiiigh.
Friday, April 17, 2009
I think the power company installed my AC Unit
Because the minute that thing comes on, it starts sucking all the money out of my wallet. I know it's a conspiracy, I know it! How can it use that much energy....and don't try to explain it to me, because I'm not interested in listening and I'm sure if I thought about it, it would make perfect sense....But I'm not going to do that. I'm going to complain.
And another thing-Taxes out of my paycheck. Every middle & end of the month, I look at those checks and I wonder: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY? I could be making that when I only get this much?? Again don't try to explain and no, I won't think it through. I just want the money!
On a completely different note: IF you remember My Best Friend's Wedding and you had/have some nostalgic inclination towards Rupert Everett (before the Inspector Gadget days) go to Bestweekever.tv and do a search for him. They posted a picture of him yesterday and OMG, You just have to see it for yourself. I don't say OMG in a good way either...he doesn't even look English anymore---And I don't know what English looks like, I'm just saying-Back in the day, you could tell. ...with him anyway. Siiigh poor Rupey....I saw him on Martha Stewart a week ago, and as much as I hate Martha and her monotonous voice and place settings, I could not stop watching...I just couldn't believe it was him. Surely there had been a mistake but they started talking about Madonna and blah blah and yeah.
Plastic surgery is not for everyone.
And another thing-Taxes out of my paycheck. Every middle & end of the month, I look at those checks and I wonder: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY? I could be making that when I only get this much?? Again don't try to explain and no, I won't think it through. I just want the money!
On a completely different note: IF you remember My Best Friend's Wedding and you had/have some nostalgic inclination towards Rupert Everett (before the Inspector Gadget days) go to Bestweekever.tv and do a search for him. They posted a picture of him yesterday and OMG, You just have to see it for yourself. I don't say OMG in a good way either...he doesn't even look English anymore---And I don't know what English looks like, I'm just saying-Back in the day, you could tell. ...with him anyway. Siiigh poor Rupey....I saw him on Martha Stewart a week ago, and as much as I hate Martha and her monotonous voice and place settings, I could not stop watching...I just couldn't believe it was him. Surely there had been a mistake but they started talking about Madonna and blah blah and yeah.
Plastic surgery is not for everyone.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
I was Standing, you were there, and they could never tear us apart?
What song is that?? I'm listening to it right now on the new 106.9, I swear radio stations change their genre so much these days....don't even get me started on The Buzz (100.5) I've lost all my Indie Rock cred since they've gone on to become the new 103.7, playing Nickelback and Metalica (nothing wrong with them...) I'm just making a point-I miss The -old- Buzz, playing all sorts of crazy things that i didn't understand but lurveed. Guess I'll just start tuning into Fuze and watch music videos.
So...where to start.
Had lunch with Aleta today, good times and holy cow, that was the busiest I've ever seen the '98 Grill, now I can stop pondering how they are still in business. Around here, sometimes it doesn't matter how good the food/service is, places still get shut down. (RIP Coffee Shop, Petrello's, Black Diamond...even though you are open again...BUT FOR HOW LONG???)
We talked about a lot of things and she told me a story about her dad (also in her blog) and it made me think about the conversation that i had with my dad last night; Just a few notes:
1-This is the first time I can ever think of my dad calling me "just to chat."
2-It was nice.
3-It was....interesting.
So I'm talking to my dad and he starts explaining his new dentures. He talks about the uppers and the lowers, and how it kind of makes his mouth hurt, but he's getting used to it. And then he starts in about the saliva. Increased saliva from the new dentures. After i steer the conversation in a non-spit direction for a few minutes, he starts talking about them AGAIN. I'm thinking, the teeth must be driving him crazy, because that's really all he can talk about. All the while I'm thinking...Is this what I'm going to be like when I'm 63? Calling the kids, talking about my dentures? AND when did my dad start talking about these things? When did my dad start talking to ME about these things?? Am I entering some new stage of adult hood? Hmmm.
On a totally different note-I watched Snakes on a Plane last night. Highs and lows, really.. highs and lows. Yes, the snakes are poorly CGI'd. Yes, Keenan (Kel? Keenan? I can't remember since The Good Burger days) needs more physical comedy, less lines. But ya know, I have to say ( and I can't decide highest of highs or lowest of lows) the most integral part of the movie was the censoring; at the point where Sam L Jack gets fed up of all those stupid snakes on the stupid plane, he furiously yells out: I've had it with these MONEY FRYING SNAKES ON THIS MONEY FRYING PLANE!
Now....I have no idea what money frying could entail, except the greasy cooking of coins and cash alike, so I'm trying to understand why its the expletive's replacement...maybe because it would mean damaging currency, which is never good, especially in these hard economic times.
I'm out, you money fryers.
So...where to start.
Had lunch with Aleta today, good times and holy cow, that was the busiest I've ever seen the '98 Grill, now I can stop pondering how they are still in business. Around here, sometimes it doesn't matter how good the food/service is, places still get shut down. (RIP Coffee Shop, Petrello's, Black Diamond...even though you are open again...BUT FOR HOW LONG???)
We talked about a lot of things and she told me a story about her dad (also in her blog) and it made me think about the conversation that i had with my dad last night; Just a few notes:
1-This is the first time I can ever think of my dad calling me "just to chat."
2-It was nice.
3-It was....interesting.
So I'm talking to my dad and he starts explaining his new dentures. He talks about the uppers and the lowers, and how it kind of makes his mouth hurt, but he's getting used to it. And then he starts in about the saliva. Increased saliva from the new dentures. After i steer the conversation in a non-spit direction for a few minutes, he starts talking about them AGAIN. I'm thinking, the teeth must be driving him crazy, because that's really all he can talk about. All the while I'm thinking...Is this what I'm going to be like when I'm 63? Calling the kids, talking about my dentures? AND when did my dad start talking about these things? When did my dad start talking to ME about these things?? Am I entering some new stage of adult hood? Hmmm.
On a totally different note-I watched Snakes on a Plane last night. Highs and lows, really.. highs and lows. Yes, the snakes are poorly CGI'd. Yes, Keenan (Kel? Keenan? I can't remember since The Good Burger days) needs more physical comedy, less lines. But ya know, I have to say ( and I can't decide highest of highs or lowest of lows) the most integral part of the movie was the censoring; at the point where Sam L Jack gets fed up of all those stupid snakes on the stupid plane, he furiously yells out: I've had it with these MONEY FRYING SNAKES ON THIS MONEY FRYING PLANE!
Now....I have no idea what money frying could entail, except the greasy cooking of coins and cash alike, so I'm trying to understand why its the expletive's replacement...maybe because it would mean damaging currency, which is never good, especially in these hard economic times.
I'm out, you money fryers.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Surgery
I did this mostly to enjoy my friend Aleta's blog, because I can never leave comments and her blogs are always funny and thoughtful and I always want to say how great they are but the dumb thing won't let me because I'm not a member or whatever. So I signed up and decided that while I'm on the mend with not much to do anyway, why not?
SURGERY:
So Friday morning last week, I had some work done.A-Haha. Since I was little, as many of you know, if any of you are reading this, if you are whom I think you are....-I've lived with hardly any hearing in my left ear; my eardrum collapsed a looong time ago due to tubes and corrective surgeries. At my last check up, in January, my ear doctor told me that basically it was a matter of "when, not If" for a hearing aid. I became really upset because I've never thought of needing one, never thought of being slightly handicapped...but then alot of feelings started rushing over me-I started thinking about every time I have to ask "what" for the 3rd time, I have to turn if someone is whispering on my left, so I get it in my "good" ear, talking too loud because I can't hear myself.
I'll be honest, I kind of broke down...but there were options for me-so I opted to get corrective surgery to improve it and last friday-i went under the knife...
So now I'm in recovery and things have been, well, you could guess. My ear feels all stuffed up and the worst is the cottonballs. Bleah...I'll spare the details about them. Other than that, things are going ok.
Boring blog.
SURGERY:
So Friday morning last week, I had some work done.A-Haha. Since I was little, as many of you know, if any of you are reading this, if you are whom I think you are....-I've lived with hardly any hearing in my left ear; my eardrum collapsed a looong time ago due to tubes and corrective surgeries. At my last check up, in January, my ear doctor told me that basically it was a matter of "when, not If" for a hearing aid. I became really upset because I've never thought of needing one, never thought of being slightly handicapped...but then alot of feelings started rushing over me-I started thinking about every time I have to ask "what" for the 3rd time, I have to turn if someone is whispering on my left, so I get it in my "good" ear, talking too loud because I can't hear myself.
I'll be honest, I kind of broke down...but there were options for me-so I opted to get corrective surgery to improve it and last friday-i went under the knife...
So now I'm in recovery and things have been, well, you could guess. My ear feels all stuffed up and the worst is the cottonballs. Bleah...I'll spare the details about them. Other than that, things are going ok.
Boring blog.
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