Wednesday, September 9, 2009

My Problems with Crazy Women.

I woke up this morning with a question:

Why, Oh why, does it seem like the crazy bitches of the world always have a man, who is usually decent more often than not- when us sane gals can't find a nice, responsible human being to save our lives?

I have pondered this many a times, but it's really starting to bug me. I wonder...what are the techniques of the crazy bitch? How do they manage to ensnare the unsuspecting male into their web of crazy and unstable?

Do they act nice and normal at first, and then do some kind of bewildering exercise to make sure the man doesn't want to leave for any reason, even after she stops the facade of being Betty Normal? "I'm leaving you"-Oh you'll never get The Crazy Crab Shuffle if you do!-"Curses, I must stay!!"

Do they take a valuable possession of the man during the initial courting and then hold it hostage when they say they want out?? "I can't stand you anymore!"-Do you ever want to see your [insert baseball card collection, autographed poster of so & so, anything father handed down, etc] again?? "Curses, I must stay until I finagle a way to get it out of your clutches!" Of course they obviously never find a way or forget about it until the next time they get upset and want to leave.

Is it that they tire of losing arguments and just want to win one before they leave? Because this will NEVER happen. You cannot argue and win with a crazy person BECAUSE THEY'RE CRAZY. It took me a long time to learn this, because I love to win an argument. It's hard to get over, I know this. I could talk myself blue in the face and be absolutely right in every aspect of the fight-still, the crazy bags of the world could talk themselves bluer, re-arrange every word spoken back and somehow in their crazy heads, make sense of their point. It's a phenomenon and only a great scholar...or maybe a hostage negotiator could figure out how to win when arguing with a crazy bitch. It ain't happening with us normal folk.
"I'm fed up, you're not making any sense, I'm leaving!"-Oh yeah, well maybe the sense you know isn't the sense that I'm familiar with and making it perfectly right now, at this moment in time in a different Universe!-"HUH??, Curses I must stay until I win this!!!"

Sometimes I think...maybe I should turn into a crazy bitch, because it seems like it's working for all those other crazy bitches out there.
But then I don't think I could stand myself or the crazy bitches I would start hanging out with, because I know my current friends would disown me if I ever started displaying Re-Re behavior. And honestly, I'm sure the guys aren't that happy and for whatever reason they stay with these ..ahh..people...has to be an interesting one...or maybe it's because these men have no backbone, maybe it's because they're too CS to leave. In that case, who would want a guy like that?...A crazy bitch.

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely crazy behavior, I tell you. I don’t understand it either. All these seemingly good guys end up with crazy psycho girls. I don’t get it. They do seem to hold things hostage and I loved your comment about their winning an argument. I’m telling you, getting into a fight with one of these girls is about ridiculous. They will twist the guy’s words and make a completely insane defense…and the guy is left wondering “Wha???????” And honestly, I think that their defense sounds completely normal inside their own heads….just not to the rest of the world. And I think you’re onto something with the guy wanting to win just one argument. Maybe that’s why they stay. I, and you probably feel the same way, want to go up and say to the guy “What are you thinking? You could have it so much better! Get with someone SANE at least!” Maybe it’s just the backbone thing. Or they stay because they feel that they are going out into the unknown.

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