Thursday, May 28, 2009

A Few Notes to Self:

After finishing up the Rum last night (My house is now dry, Thank you...for how long?...) I realize this morning that I may have made a few bad decisions.

1-Using my phone to call....Everyone. Lol. I did have a good conversation with my buddy Charley. He seemed like the only one willing to brave a chat after hearing my slurring "I miss you man" voicemails. **Note to self: If going to be drinking on a Wednesday night, do not call all of your friends to inform them, For fear of losing them by implying you are a raging alcoholic.

2-I have this hang up about changing out of work clothes to reg clothes when I get home, it just creates more laundry to do later but I want to be comfortable, but then what if I have to go somewhere? But do I want to go there in my dressy work clothes anyway? Dilemma. So last night I mixy-matchied. I left this tube top on (fancy tube top, wore jacket over it in public anyway, shut up.)and I changed into some sleepy shorts. I was listening to a pretty awesome CD and after starting "to feel the music" (the only way i could describe it) I decided I was going to dance in my black high heels and pretend I was Lady GaGa. Yes I understand that I am 23 years old. **Note to self: When being Lady GaGa, remember to take the heels off to take the dog out. Sinking into the ground with every step you take is not becoming, nor is it safe after fun times with Rum.

3-Watching TBS, where they have a tendency to play the same movie over and over.**Note to self: DO NOT WATCH THE NOTEBOOK.EVER.

Something else that I noticed last night and yesterday-Everything was Loud. Is lefty starting to function?? Hope Hope Hope! But then I got scared-Am I going to be like Val Kilmer in At First Sight or whatever that movie is?? He had a really hard time adjusting to his new vision...of course he was totally blind whereareas I am not/wasn't completely deaf. Still, things were loud-I heard a truck that I swore was in my front yard, driving up into my house. And I don't have ol' what's her face to guide me along the way, then break up with me and then get back together at the very end. (For those of you who haven't seen the movie-Yeah that's the way it happens. Sorry.)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Laziness=Redneck Skank Lifestyle?

This morning a thought/question crossed my mind that led me to rehash my behavior these past couple weeks and assess a few personality traits to come to a conclusion to appease the thought/question nagging at my brain.

The thought/question: I am the skank redneck neighbor? (think of Ron Burgundy's "I'm Ron Burgundy?") (Not "am I", did that on purpose mind you)

The Answer: Most signs are sadly pointing to YES.

What triggered this in the first place? Well it came to me this morning, as I ran outside to my mother's car (she was dropping off my mail) in a flimsy pink shirt, No bra, and leopard print hot pants (shorty short shorts I only wear as jammies/under dance wear). I was also wearing men's flip flops and my hair was in a flippy clip that took the place of the scrunchy back in 95 and as I went out the door, the dog got out and I had to chase her down in the yard (no bra) to get her back inside the house. It occurred to me that this was almost an exact repeat of what happened yesterday, when my mom dropped off some other piece of mail; except I was wearing a blue shirt, still no bra, and another pair of some kind of very short fuzzy material and I had to chase the dog all the way across the street before I caught her.

Cut to Monday-Feeling kind of down and stressed out from work, I made a hasty date with some Rum that's been sitting in the fridge, all alooone, for a while now. Alas, I only had tea and Kool aid (sp?) and I really am not that much of an alcoholic to where I'm able to drink it straight. I tried the tea first-Do NOT ever mix tea with rum. Sorry Koolaid, should've known it would be you-And honestly, coconut rum+pink lemonade= not that bad when you're wanting to catch a buzz. So I'm in the backyard, holding my pink concoction, in black work pants and barefoot, again chasing after the dog. Leto comes over and I now have Dr. Pepper to mix with rum, yay! Very fun night btw. Lol.

Rewind back to the beginning of last week-I'm out in the backyard again, Bud Light cans lined up on a bench (I wasn't about to waste energy going in and out of the house to pick up more/throw away empties, plus I was trying to get rid of leftover beer, sue me) and doing my best birdie warble impression to Fonnie.

Now taking a look at every morning for the past month, I go out into the backyard in short shorts, tank tops, and bedroom shoes (really my only other form of footwear beside flops) no bra, no robe, no form of decency.

Now you might be saying to yourself-Well she's just a whorey dresser. But I digress for I am southern, I do enjoy sweet tea, cornbread, trucks and I can drink any kind of beer and enjoy myself, so i believe redneck comes into the picture-Overgrown lawn, beer cans, etc.

Examining the evidence though, most of my behavior stems from innate laziness....So i'm wondering is that what causes the redneck behavior? Are rednecks just lazy people? or is Redneck synonymous with Lazy? But that can't be so because a lot of rednecks are also hard workers....

Given the neighborhood I live in, I'm honestly not that worried about being pegged a redneck skank. That would be higher up on the totem pole than most. But if I ever moved, I might have to tweak my approach to morning apparel.

On a totally different note-

I broke my favorite measuring cup, Favorite meaning the only 1 cup measuring cup I have. I was making Koolaid(ah hah.) and i dipped the cup into the sugar and the little handle broke off in my hand. WTH? Now instead of buying a new one, I shall use this cup and be reminded that using mangled cookware may work against my shedding of the Redneck skank title.

Anyway, I'm off to go eat Hardees for breakfast, Sweet Tea instead of Orange Juice please.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Ohh the sexy times

Recently I've been having these nights/mornings where I'll wake up in the wee hours of the morning (4-5am) wide awake and unable to go back to sleep. I don't understand why my body is doing this to me, maybe to give me a chance to judge the caliber of darkness in my room? Which I do, I like it almost as much as the contemplation game of reasons why to stay in bed and reasons why to get up; Bed=I need sleep, Up=I could clean the bathroom. Bed=Still dark outside, Up=I could bake a pie!
If you didn't realize-This is one of these times. And Up got the "upper hand" Ah ha hahahahaa. Lame, I know.

I've been awake since 4:30 am, it is now almost 6. Only an hour away from 7 which is my regular time to get up. Sooo guess it's no going back to sleep for me.I'll devote some time to you, my lovely blog.

The birds are crazy at this hour. I have no idea what I'm hearing but it's not the normal twitter tweet, more like warbling? Squawking? It reminds me of Yellowstone-I'm in a paper thin tent and it's dark 30 outside and all the freakin birds start going crazy. Every morning. Nature's alarm clock. That's when I'd pull my beanie over my face, sinch my hoodie tight around my head and roll over as best i could in my 4 shirts, 2 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of socks and 5 blankets...In my sleeping bag. I am a cold natured person, mornings on a mountain means wrapping myself up tighter than cellophane on a piece of processed cheese.

Oh 6 o'clock now!

Recently a few friends and I have been reminiscing about past endeavors. I've come to realize that I don't miss the boys**, High School junk/events, or the "hardly any responsibility" lifestyle- I miss the availability that me and my friends had. Looking back it seemed like we could always all pull together for any occasion. Now it's work and college and babies and husbands making our busy schedules---All things that are fine and part of our lives now, don't get me wrong, it's a part of growing up. And I'm so lucky to have kept so many close friends from high school-a few of them from middle & even elementary (Props LETO! Lol) So yeah, I just miss that commradery of being able to form a party in seconds on a friday night or all going to the same birthday party. I wish we had more of that....friends and family are the most enjoyable, entertaining and free things in life. Haha.

Another thing of the contemplation-What things do people find sexy and why? I mean-yeah everyone can agree that say Ryan Gosling is smoking hot (the guy from the notebook) and Rachel McAdams is soo pretty (the girl from the notebook...I don't know why I happen to pick those two, but they are universally pretty people that I could think of within 30 seconds..so yeah..Oh and the notebook was really sweet) So my question is-what are those off the wall things that make people attracted to one another? Liiike-Why is my sister attracted to Much Older men. Why do I like Seth Rogen***? Why did God make boobs so freaking irresistable to men? Why is it that the V shapey tummy with a pair of low rise jeans showing the guys boxers like amazing super d duper hot? That mom from Weeds****?

These are questions that just roll around in the noggin. Different chemical make up and pheremones? Personality traits and DNA? Things to ponder, indeed.

It's almost 6:30 and I'm starting to feel sleepy. Maybe I'll catch the next 30 mins and dream about sexy times.

**-Boy chasing

***-Because I'm weird

****-she was also on Fried Green Tomatoes like 20 years ago, she's aging really well I would say.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

SO SLOW

I really wish I had a job that did not involve sales.

Every time I am in this store, no one comes in. I feel like Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory="No one ever goes out, No one ever goes in." Jerks!

I leave for lunch-we get busy-I come back, we get slow. I have a day off-busy. I work all week=slooooooow.

Jerks!

I'm so tired of having quotas pushed on me. So tired of pushing crap.

Blegh. It's my own fault I guess...Blegh Retail.

Moving on-

On a brighter note: Wolverine was awesomeo yesterday! Ahhhh Hugh Jackman, Ahhhh Ryan Reynolds, Ahhhh Leiv Schrieber, Ahhh that other guy!

A lot of action, but definitely plenty of Eye Candy for the ladies.

Now I just have to wait until Transformers 2 comes out--Shia Labeouf, oh if we ever met, I just know the sparks would fly!.....

Enough of that.

Update on The Fonz- She has entered "Crazy Puppy Stage", the one where she freaks out and runs super fast in circles for about 1 minute. She is also jealous of my make up items, which sit on the foot rest in the morning for my accessibility, since I'm in front of the big mirror in the living room. She will growl at them(lifeless containers & brushes), no lie, until i move the stuff to the table. She also likes toes and feet, for licking, for biting-she bites to test if she will get in trouble and darn it, every time!Too bad Mommy is consistent. Other than that, she is still the cutest puppy ever and unfortunately, I hope she knows that...I don't know why I want a prissy dog...Maybe it's from watching Oliver & Company too many times...the poodle Georgette-How I loved her!