Let me tell you about the other fish...

So Leto and I were talking today and our conversation landed on that famous phrase one gives to another when experiencing a love lost or some similar variation. "Well, there are plenty of other fish in the sea."

This is my blog to the world about those other fishes.

In life's aquarium, there are many, many different kinds of fish. Scoop a pile of them up in your little net and let me tell you what you are bound to have caught:

The Taken Fish --Whether he has a girlfriend, fiance, wife, etc. This fish is not going in your cooler. In fact, he is a sly, cunning creature because somehow he ended up in your net when he was actually caught by someone else weeks, months, even years ago! Even if you tried somehow to take him home, you would inevitably be caught by a Game Warden and on top of giving up the fish, be forced to pay a fine.

The Father Fish --Careful, there may be a school of little guppies just waiting underneath your boat. You admire your catch and then look down and see that you're surrounded. Oh you may want your own cutsie little ones but that seems like years down the road and you don't even have an aquarium at home!

The Fish with NO JOB/CAR --This one is self-explanatory.

The Jerk Fish (also called Dick or Ass) --Oh he's cool. He's the hottest, baddest fish in the frickin' sea. He's also the one you see on those posters that show Ocean Hierarchy-he's the one with that little light thing on his head, tricking the other tinier fishes into hanging out long enough to DEVOUR them. He may look pretty good on a motorcycle, but chances are he's not going to be a fish that will treat you well. Not even if you get him the cool treasure chest to go in his tank.

The Addicted Fish --These guys are the ones that you wish you could help because they have PROBLEMS. There are many types of addicted fish. The Cocaine fish, the Alcoholic fish, the MJ fish, the list goes on. IF caught, the addicted fish will be a faithful and loving fish, but they aren't going to give anything up just because you want them to.

The Player Fish --This fish will hang around your boat for a while and then swim off to check out the yacht a mile away. These fish never stay on the hook long enough for you to reel them in.

I could go on about others that I haven't covered, but I hope that you catch my drift (ah ha. Pun)

My Problems with Crazy Women.

I woke up this morning with a question:

Why, Oh why, does it seem like the crazy bitches of the world always have a man, who is usually decent more often than not- when us sane gals can't find a nice, responsible human being to save our lives?

I have pondered this many a times, but it's really starting to bug me. I wonder...what are the techniques of the crazy bitch? How do they manage to ensnare the unsuspecting male into their web of crazy and unstable?

Do they act nice and normal at first, and then do some kind of bewildering exercise to make sure the man doesn't want to leave for any reason, even after she stops the facade of being Betty Normal? "I'm leaving you"-Oh you'll never get The Crazy Crab Shuffle if you do!-"Curses, I must stay!!"

Do they take a valuable possession of the man during the initial courting and then hold it hostage when they say they want out?? "I can't stand you anymore!"-Do you ever want to see your [insert baseball card collection, autographed poster of so & so, anything father handed down, etc] again?? "Curses, I must stay until I finagle a way to get it out of your clutches!" Of course they obviously never find a way or forget about it until the next time they get upset and want to leave.

Is it that they tire of losing arguments and just want to win one before they leave? Because this will NEVER happen. You cannot argue and win with a crazy person BECAUSE THEY'RE CRAZY. It took me a long time to learn this, because I love to win an argument. It's hard to get over, I know this. I could talk myself blue in the face and be absolutely right in every aspect of the fight-still, the crazy bags of the world could talk themselves bluer, re-arrange every word spoken back and somehow in their crazy heads, make sense of their point. It's a phenomenon and only a great scholar...or maybe a hostage negotiator could figure out how to win when arguing with a crazy bitch. It ain't happening with us normal folk.
"I'm fed up, you're not making any sense, I'm leaving!"-Oh yeah, well maybe the sense you know isn't the sense that I'm familiar with and making it perfectly right now, at this moment in time in a different Universe!-"HUH??, Curses I must stay until I win this!!!"

Sometimes I think...maybe I should turn into a crazy bitch, because it seems like it's working for all those other crazy bitches out there.
But then I don't think I could stand myself or the crazy bitches I would start hanging out with, because I know my current friends would disown me if I ever started displaying Re-Re behavior. And honestly, I'm sure the guys aren't that happy and for whatever reason they stay with these ..ahh..people...has to be an interesting one...or maybe it's because these men have no backbone, maybe it's because they're too CS to leave. In that case, who would want a guy like that?...A crazy bitch.